Dreamless Nights.

Your eyes are no longer shut. You check the clock and almost cry because you realize its only three a.m. Its the third night in a row you wake up at exact time for no reason. You sigh heavily and stare at the ceiling, your mind suddenly flooded with unanswered thoughts.

When?
How?
Why?
And God, what possibly have I done to deserve this?
Then, it hits you. You once did it.

The lies.
The hypocrisy.
The betrayal.
The pain.
The suicide attempt.

It hurts that it's been years yet when you look up to your wrists, you'll see the faded scars. It hurts that everytime you told yourself that you're okay, the bracelets on your wrists will be moving slowly, showing your past.

" You're stronger than this. "

Wiping your tears, you finally realize that you got yourself and it's more than enough.

It's okay that you've tried to kill yourself before.
It's okay that the love of your life died.
It's okay to feel pain.

You're not okay and it's okay.



ara,2018