Never Be The Same

" Happy Birthday, love! "

I grinned and watched as you bring my favorite blueberry cheesecake in front of me, with the candle 17 burning.

" Make a wish! "

I closed my eyes for a minute, prayed to God that everything stays the same and its all going to be okay for us. For you and me.


" Wish for us, too! "

Still closing my eyes, I giggled. Typical you and your words .

" Love, are you done? I'm hungry "

Bursting out, I opened my eyes and hugs you tight.

" Thank you, baby. Te amo. "

" The cake, eat it ! "

Shaking my head, I cut the cake and take a bite of it with a spoon.


" Love? "

" Hm? "

" I love you "

" I love you too, silly. "

Smiling widely, you just nod before eating the cake with me.

***

If only I knew that was the last time you celebrated my birthday with me, I would told you how much I love you. How much I appreciated your attempt to cooked me a cake, even though you clearly failed. How much I loved the way your arms wrapped around my waist. How much I loved waking up to your face every single day. How much I love seeing you cooking, even when you're a bad cooker. How I loved cuddling to you while watching the TV, or how much I loved seeing you punched the punching bag in our living room.

I love you so much, it hurts me that you're not here.

***

22nd November 2019.

I finally turned 18. Holding the bouquet of flowers in my hand, I smiled a bit. The white Stargazer Lilies seemed so beautiful and the Cattleya Orchids next to it just make it even gorgeous, and don't forget the Transvaal Daisies, and the Baby's Breaths. It's all your favorite flower in one bouquet, love.

Walking the paving stone, I pressed my coat tightly and try to hold my tears from coming. This is not the best idea of celebrating my birthday isn't it? Ignoring the cold air, I put the bouquet gently and smile sadly before walked away, whispering nothing to the stone.

In Loving Memory

Our Beloved Fighter.

1999-2019

Nothing ever feels the same after you left, love.