e x i l e

 

"I'm drowning in your memory but it is all that I have left "

***

I was shaking when I saw you packing up your boxes. The labels on the boxes are stern and clear, as you have finally found a new place not far from our current house. House, as I do not dare to call it home. This place is not home for me. This place is just a ghost town haunted by every piece of the person we used to be. I didn't know when you fell out of love with me, but I didn't want to ask.

" Kiel? " my voice is unsure, and you immediately stop what you're doing and gaze up at my black orbs.

" I don't want to sell this place. I-I was thinking, that- " My voice is now shaky, and I know that I'm seconds away from breaking down in the living room.

" It's okay, you can stay here if you want. " you smiled. You smiled softly and I swear that I used to see this smile of yours every day.

I nod before leaving you alone, making my way back to the bedroom. The bed sheet is still the same and there, I can see us, laughing together over Harry Potter. 

***

" Wake up. Sayang, wake up "

He rubbed her face softly, tracing her asleep features with his hand. Her eyes were fully closed and her lips parted a little, letting out a soft snore.

" Adel, wake up, I'm hungry "

By now, he already had his body over hers, hugging her and nuzzling his face on her neck. Adel is his safe space. 

" Kiel, I'm sleepy " her morning voice finally responds.

" Let's buy the breakfast burrito in front of the street. I know it's your favorite! "

She groans before burying her face in his hair, inhaling the scent of brown sugar, her favorite scent. Kiel laughed before kissing her neck, letting her sleep again. Fuck breakfast burrito, Adel is his everything.

***

" Mum called. She invited us over for lunch. Get ready, okay? "

Kiel yelled, leaving Adel speechless. She just woke up and she hasn't even cleaned their home.

" Can you tell Mum that we'll be late? I haven't cleaned up! " Kiel chuckled before making his way to her, ruffling her hair in the process.

" The house can wait. You know how mum gets when we're late. She loved it when we went out with her. "

" Will there be Aunt Eggy? I swear her personality doesn't sit right with me. She asks questions that even mum gets irritated by " she mumbles while making her way to the bathroom. Kiel lets out a laugh before opening their drawers and pulls out a pink tie-dye oversized sweater. 

" We'll probably just play Ludo and hang out at that cafe mum adores. "

" I swear mum gets the youngster on her more than us. "

Adel gets out of the bathroom and tossed Kiel his shorts, before putting on the pink sweater Kiel sets for her. Simple things like hanging out with his mother made her wish that this stay on forever.

***

A soft knock on the door brings her back to reality. There, Kiel stands, holding his backpack. His hair was everywhere and his shirt was a little wet from his sweat. 

" I'm leaving, Del. Do you want to come with me and check out my new place? "

She shakes her head before going to him, pulling him for a hug. He is shocked by the gesture but manages to hug her back. She closes her eyes, inhaling his scent for the last time. Never did she ever think this day would come.

" Take care, okay? Tell me if you need anything. I'm always a call away. "

Kiel smiled and nodded. He is cursing her and her personality. He breaks this girl so many times, she could probably write 10 songs about 9 ways he fucked her over. Every time he messed up, she was there to put their pieces back together. He's cursing her existence because he knows, no matter how much this hurts her, if he calls in the middle of the night and asks for a cup of tea, she will drop everything and go to him.

Kiel is aware that he's the cause of her pain. He knows how much Adel loves him and it pains him that he's also the same reason Adel is not who she is right now. He is aware that he changed her and took away the life she had before. 

Jehezkiel and his selfish appetite. Leave it up to him to fuck it up without a good reason. 

Before him, she was something else. Before Kiel, Adel was a whole different person. She was a straight A's student and the top of her classes. She was her family's pride and joy. She was set to be the next lawyer and Jehezkiel blurred it all out in just one night. 

She first met him while she was swiping endlessly in Bumble, four years ago. She had just gotten out of her previous relationship and Kiel's pictures, that time with a white t-shirt and black cap; interested her. Without hesitation, she swept right and they instantly matched. They started as a random joke. 

On the third of November-only six days after they matched, both only talked on the phone once, Kiel asked her out. It was supposed to be a fun and no feelings attached kind of relationship. They were supposed to only mess around, but ten days later, she fell for him. He sang a song that night while they were face timing-both hadn't met in person, and there, Adela fell. She fell hard.

Ever since that, they've been face-timing nonstop, and by the 29th of November, they met and Kiel took her out. Their first date was at an Indonesian Diner called 'Warung Nasi Uduk Lotte' just about downtown. It wasn't much but she loves it. Kiel was the simplicity she adored. It was heaven while it lasted.

Kiel locks the door behind him and lets out a sigh. He hates leaving her, but for fuck sake, he knows that he took it too far this time. Truth is, he puts her through this type of shit too much, he sometimes questioned her's sanity.

Walking away from the apartment, Kiel left without turning his head back. If he did, he would notice that Adela's standing on their balcony, in his old oversized hoodie, crying.

If he turns his head back, he'll realize that he broke her so badly this time.

***

and i know, you know, we know we weren't meant for each other and it's fine